You probably read the title of this post and thought, “You just started… how are you starting over already?” And you are entirely correct, I just started. I just started putting my life and my thoughts on the internet. 4 months ago, I had it on my heart to start this blog. I have been a student for almost 19 years, and I have been working on a degree of some sort for almost 7 years. With post-secondary education comes tons of writing. Often people find this daunting and boring and possibly the worst part of college as a whole. But not me. Papers and research have always been my strong suit and my enjoyment. For me, the thought of sitting down for an exam where I must somehow sort through all of the things I have learned and choose the right 8-word answer from 5 different choices makes me sweat. I actually broke out into hives during my SAT exam because I was so stressed… I can still feel the panic of my feet no longer fitting in the sandals I was wearing but needing to sharpen my pencil. No thank you! I will take all of the papers you can give me.
This is all to say that I started this blog with a passion for writing. This blog was my place to talk about my newest and greatest adventure- parenting. My husband and I were blessed with a beautiful, sassy, strong and hilarious baby girl. I wanted to shout my love for her from the rooftops, but instead I chose to shout it through 12-point font on a computer screen. My intentions for this blog were so good. I desired to share my stories, my ups and downs. I wanted this to be a place that I could look back on in 40 years and see all of the memories my family had made. But that intention was watered down entirely. My mind began racing about the success of this blog, the potential monetization flooded my thoughts and I wanted to be the next big mom blog. I don’t mean to say that people who desire this and work toward it are wrong, or that I still don’t have the desire for this blog to be successful, but my mind and heart should not be centered on that.
This past month has been pretty life changing. Not in the same way as meeting and marrying my wonderful husband, or carrying and then holding my baby girl, but in a big way. My heart was reopened to the only One that matters: to God. For some reason, I had shied away from talking about my faith in my writing. As embarrassed as I am to write that, it’s the truth. I was afraid of being overlooked by people scanning the internet. But a few weeks ago, God knocked down my walls with force and He was hurt. I had pushed Him aside and saved Him for myself and my personal time. Do you hear how wrong that sounds? The one who GAVE me this passion for writing, who GAVE me my husband and who is lending us His daughter. He is trusting my husband and I with the salvation of one of His own. That is the most terrifying and absolutely amazing honor. And I want to share THAT journey. The one of Faith and parenting. I want to share what God is doing in my heart as a wife, parent, student, sister, friend and daughter. I want to share stories of Ariel, her life and her journey. I want to share our experiences as a family, where we are going and what we are doing. I am rerouting this blog, and I hope you come along with me through all of this. Hopefully you can identify with some of the struggle, and I can be a helping hand or simply someone to assure you that you are not alone. We are never alone, and one of the most exciting parts of being a believer is the amazing community that comes along with it. Although I am tired, I am on fire and energized to share this journey.
Featured Image by Craig Elliot. Photo from FreeImages.com